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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633457">In the Darkest Days</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiniestmite/pseuds/tiniestmite'>tiniestmite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Days, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, TK Strand Needs A Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:07:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,584</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633457</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiniestmite/pseuds/tiniestmite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>TK's having a bad mental health day... It's a good thing he has his dad and Carlos to look out for him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes &amp; Owen Strand, Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Owen Strand &amp; TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>233</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In the Darkest Days</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Content warning for depression and depressive thoughts in general!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>From the moment TK wakes up, he can tell it will be one of those days. He can feel the weight of the day pushing down on every inch of his body and just the thought of leaving the security of his bed is enough to make him wish he could just fade away to avoid all of his responsibilities. Yes, the dark cloud is hanging over Tyler Kennedy Strand’s head, and it isn't going away anytime soon.</p><p>But fading away isn't an option for him today. He can hear his dad downstairs making breakfast. They both have a shift in an hour. Taking note of the current time, he knows he needs to get up so he forces his body through the motions of getting out of bed and decides to take a shower. He’s not normally a morning showers person, usually opting for quick showers when he’s on shift and a longer one when he gets home at night. However, he thinks that maybe the steaming water will wake him up enough for his body, and his brain, to take the hint that shutting down is not an option.</p><p>Getting in the shower, he turns the water temperature all the way up so that the water is nearly burning his skin. He knows he should take the time to wash up, but it’s as if his mind and body are not connected. Instead, he just stands there, letting the water droplets roll off of his body and down the drain. After minutes of doing nothing except waste hot water he finally is able to convince his body to turn off the shower and grab a fresh towel. </p><p>By the time he gets himself dressed and downstairs he’s already mentally and physically exhausted. It’s also nearly time for them to leave for the station. He feels bad that he’s holding his dad up, yet his thoughts are too clouded for him to dwell on it too much. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, he is greeted by his dad’s always enthusiastic demeanor.</p><p>“Morning,” Owen says to him. “How do you want your eggs today?”</p><p>“I’m not hungry.”</p><p>Owen looks up at him, taking in his son's disheveled appearance. He must really look bad because he watches his dad’s face soften as he sighs. “Why don’t you take the shift off and go back to bed?”</p><p>He’s aware that his dad is always able to notice the signs that he is having a particularly bad day. The fact that he picked up on it right away though doesn’t make it any better.</p><p>“It’s fine, I’ll be fine.” He lies, knowing he won’t be. But that doesn’t mean he needs to take special treatment just because his dad also happens to be his captain. Everyone has bad days, he tells himself. They power through it and so can he.</p><p>Except his bad days are more than just bad days. A fact that he and his dad are both aware of. </p><p>Owen just shakes his head, not taking “no” for an answer. “TK, please. Just go back to bed. I can bring a floater in for your shift and I will tell the rest of the team you are taking a sick day. Please. You won’t be able to help anyone in this mental state.”</p><p>TK knows his team would understand; however, he isn’t sure he is ready to disclose to his team that his mental health is bad enough to warrant a day off. He appreciates that his dad understands that without him having to explain it.</p><p>“Okay,” he resigns without arguing about it anymore. Arguing takes energy. Energy that he does not have today. </p><p>Owen walks over and places a kiss on his forehead. “You’ll call me if you need me, right?”</p><p>TK nods, giving his dad a small smile. </p><p>“Good,” Owen says, returning the smile and grabbing his keys before exiting their house. </p><p>Trodding back into his bedroom, TK takes out his phone to plug it in and sees that he has a missed text from Carlos.</p><p>Carlos: Are we still on for dinner tonight?</p><p>Sighing, as much he would love to see Carlos, TK knows there’s no way he’d be up for doing anything besides laying in his bed for the rest of the day. </p><p>TK: can’t tonight. sorry.</p><p>Shutting off his phone and placing it back on the nightstand, TK climbs back into his comfortable bed, ready to let his body shut down for the day.</p><p>~~~</p><p>Carlos frowns looking down at his phone. Canceling their dates on the day of wasn’t entirely unusual considering both of their hectic work lives. However, TK would normally offer up an explanation for why he had to cancel at the last minute, or at least more than the three words Carlos received today. </p><p>Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he devotes his attention back to the paperwork piling up on his desk. He did his best to stay on top of it but this week had been especially busy at work. All the more reason he was looking forward to seeing TK tonight.</p><p>Carlos doesn’t get more than a few lines done before he feels his phone buzzing again. He expects to see TK’s name on the caller ID but instead it reads “Captain Strand.” They had exchanged numbers not long after his relationship with TK became official, but this is the first time Owen has called him. He isn’t even sure how to answer the phone. No matter how many times the other man tells him to just call him “Owen,” Carlos still feels like he owes the man some respect and continues to strictly refer to him as “Captain Strand.” </p><p>Deciding to avoid the matter altogether, he answers with a simple “hello?”</p><p>“Hi Carlos, it’s Owen. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?”</p><p>“Hello sir. Yes of course. What can I do for you?”</p><p>“Would you be able to stop by our house and check on TK for me?”</p><p>“Sure, I don’t mind. Is everything okay? He did cancel our date for tonight…” Carlos trails off. He wonders what could possibly be going on with TK that he wouldn’t want to see him tonight. And why was Owen worried enough to send him to the rescue?.</p><p>“He’s just not feeling well but I bet a visit from you could help. I left a key under the doormat if you want to stop by sometime this afternoon.”</p><p>Owen’s response provides more questions than answers as far Carlos is concerned. He decides it’s better not to press the issue anymore though. “Oh, okay.”</p><p>“Thank you so much Carlos, I really appreciate it and TK will too.”</p><p>The two men hang up, leaving Carlos slightly worried and wondering what on earth is going on with his boyfriend.</p><p>~~~</p><p>TK isn’t exactly sure how much time has passed since his conversation this morning with his dad. The way the light has shifted in his room indicates that it’s been hours. Yet in his mind it feels like minutes. Or maybe it feels like days. He has no idea, really.</p><p>He hasn’t stopped staring up, lost in the trance of watching his ceiling fan spin around. He's tried to sleep but the thoughts in his head are too loud and he cannot find a way to shut them off. Instead, he is choosing to let them run around in his head and let him sink further into his depressive state. </p><p>His trance is broken by the sound of the front door opening and closing. TK didn’t think that much time had passed that his dad was home already. Maybe he came home early to check on him, he thinks.</p><p>“TK?” the guest calls. The guest who clearly is not his dad as he thought.</p><p>Carlos, he realizes.</p><p>But TK thought he canceled their date. He should probably go down and see him. Ask why he came. But he can’t seem to move out the cocoon he made for himself in his bed.</p><p>Much to his relief, the other man opts for coming right up and softly knocks on the bedroom door before entering his room. </p><p>Carlos doesn’t say anything. Instead he walks over and perches himself on the bed, next to TK. He then starts to run his hands through TK’s hair. It feels amazing. He didn’t realize just much he craved someone to be here with him. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” TK mumbles into his pillow.</p><p>“Why are you apologizing?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” TK pauses before shifting so that he’s looking at Carlos. He knows his eyes are puffy from the on and off crying all day. If Carlos notices though, he doesn’t show any sign of it. “I didn’t want you to see me like this,” TK adds. </p><p>“Oh, baby…” Carlos replies. </p><p>Before TK can say anything else, Carlos stands up and moves to the other side of the bed, climbing in next to TK. Wrapping his arms around him to spoon him, TK immediately feels comforted by the other man’s presence. Melting into Carlos’ arms, relief floods over him and he can’t stop the tears from rolling down his face. Carlos only holds him tighter, allowing him to let go of all of his bottled emotions. </p><p>TK knows this certainly won’t be the last of his bad days. However, knowing he has someone who cares about him this much, through the highs and lows, is enough reassurance to know that he will be okay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was mostly me projecting my own experiences with depression onto poor TK...<br/>Come talk to me on tumblr! - @tiniestmite (main) or @911lonestars (911 side blog) :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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